Where's Barrett?

Koyie Hill, not Michael Barrett, will catch Carlos Zambrano in Monday night's game against the Astros, and everyone who works for the Cubs is pretending that this arrangement has nothing to do with the recent Rumble at Wrigley.

The reader may recall that the main event on that occasion took place in the Cubs dugout as thousands of adoring fans watched Zambrano try to knock Barrett's head off.

Barrett's first mistake in that bout occurred when he forgot to leave his face mask on. His second mistake happened when he followed Zambrano into the clubhouse for a heart-to-heart talk.

Lou Piniella says Hill will catch because sometimes a pitcher may "feel more comfortable" with this or that catcher. If I were a catcher, I'd feel more comfortable if my pitcher didn't try to knock my brains out. I don't have much in the way of brains to start with.

Hill says he will pitch instead of Barrett because the poor guy "can't catch every game."

Yogi Barra caught every game. So did Roy Campanella.

I hope Hill doesn't allow any passed balls. If he does, I hope he leaves his face mask on.