It's Lindsay Again and Again

The Cubs are presently losing to the deplorable Florida Marlins. So let's avoid the whole mess and turn our attention to rich and famous boneheads.

Lindsay Lohan is presently a resident at the Cirque Lodge in Utah. The Cirque Lodge is a country-club rehab center for rich and famous abusers of drugs and alcohol.

For reasons unknown to the editorial staff of New Moon, rumors about Lindsay have emerged from deep in the tar pits of Los Angeles. These rumors say that Lindsay is about to leave the Cirque Lodge and make a quick exit from Utah.

But wait! Lindsay's dear mother says the rumors are false! Yes, false! Mom says Lindsay will stay put because she "has a few more weeks to grow and develop."

New Moon has no idea what Lindsay will grow and develop into.