Guarded Optimism for Cubs

After the Cubs 10-1 victory over the Mets last night, we've adopted a policy of guarded optimism. Zambrano looked good over the course of eight innings, giving up only one run, allowing six hits, and striking out three.

Zambrano did all this while changing his delivery. He had been delivering in a way that allowed opposing batters to see his grip on the ball, thereby knowing what the pitch would be. Knowing the pitch in advance allows a hitter to quickly raise his batting average, and most pitching coaches deplore the practise of early revelation.

Aramis Ramirez led the offensive frenzy for the Cubs, hitting a grand slam home run in the sixth inning.

As a result of these heroics, we are now guardedly optimistic about the Cubs, which means we think the North Side boys will not finish last in the Central Division.

We wouldn't want to say more than that. If we did say more than that, the Cubs would be sure to finish last in their division. We dare not mess with this superstition.

Hold the Pickle, Hold the Lettuce

I recently visited New Zealand, where I learned that some farmers raise grass-fed Friesian bulls that are eventually slaughtered and used for human consumption. Most of the meat from these bulls is shipped to the United States, where fast-food chains sell it in hamburger sandwiches.

I learned about all these matters by questioning three farm men, two farm women, a butcher who is also a farmer, a livestock dealer, and a retired CEO of a meatpacking company. Two of the farmers raise sheep and bulls. One raises sheep and steers. The butcher raises pigs. The retired CEO raises flowers.

All these experts agreed that the bulls are butchered and boned in New Zealand, and that about 80 percent of the meat is sent to the U.S.A. to be turned into hamburgers. The remaining 20 percent goes to other countries, primarily to Japan. The hamburgers made in the United States contain about 85 percent bull meat, plus 15 percent fat that is added from other slaughtered cattle. Bulls themselves contain almost no fat.

I can promise you that the fast-food companies in the United States do not want me and my fellow Americans to know these facts. They don’t want us to know that they’re selling bull meat. Bulls create the wrong image. But that's the only image your taste buds will get if you pick the right day to buy your burger.