Bonds Says Not Guilty

Six lawyers stood behind Barry Bonds on Friday as he pleaded not guilty to charges that he lied to a federal grand jury when he said that he had not used performance-enhancing drugs while playing for the San Francisco Giants. It's already obvious to every baseball fan in the United States that he's guilty, but the man deserves his day in court.

If found guilty, Bonds could be sentenced to as long as 2.5 years in jail. And his home run record will always have an asterisk.

Bonds Pleads Not Guilty

Barry Bonds appeared in federal court in San Francisco today, where he pleaded not guilty to four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice. These charges arise from his alleged use of steroids to improve his performance as a baseball player.

During the 2007 baseball season, Bonds increased his career home-run record to 762, more than any other player in major league history. The charges stem from an appearance Bonds made before a federal grand jury in 2003, where he repeatedly denied that he had ever used steroids or other performance-enhancing drugs. According to the indictment, Bonds committed perjury 19 times at the grand jury hearing.

Barry's home run record is starting to look a bit tarnished.

Bonds Strikes Out

Federal prosecutors say they now have documentary evidence for what our eyes have been telling us for years: Barry Bonds used something more potent than Cheerios to get those muscles he used to hit more home runs than Babe Ruth or Hank Aaron.

Bonds previously told a federal grand jury that he never "knowingly" used steroids. The feds now say that they have proof that that statement was a lie, and it's the lie, not the steroids, that could put BB in jail. Perjury can win you some jail time. Steroids merely damage your liver.

The editorial staff at New Moon is now prepared to say that we're certain that neither Ruth nor Aaron ever used steroids knowingly or otherwise. Babe Ruth ate too many hot dogs. We don't know if that damaged his liver.