It's Lindsay Again and Again

The Cubs are presently losing to the deplorable Florida Marlins. So let's avoid the whole mess and turn our attention to rich and famous boneheads.

Lindsay Lohan is presently a resident at the Cirque Lodge in Utah. The Cirque Lodge is a country-club rehab center for rich and famous abusers of drugs and alcohol.

For reasons unknown to the editorial staff of New Moon, rumors about Lindsay have emerged from deep in the tar pits of Los Angeles. These rumors say that Lindsay is about to leave the Cirque Lodge and make a quick exit from Utah.

But wait! Lindsay's dear mother says the rumors are false! Yes, false! Mom says Lindsay will stay put because she "has a few more weeks to grow and develop."

New Moon has no idea what Lindsay will grow and develop into.

Last Chance Against Florida

Right-hander Steve Trachsel will be on the mound Thursday as the Cubs try to win one game this season against the Florida Marlins. Trachsel's 2007 record is 7-10, but he went 3-0 against the Marlins last season. His ERA this season is 4.74, but in 2006 his ERA against the Marlins was 2.00.

I hope these numbers mean something, but I hesitate to predict anything.

Find Apartments Fast

If you’re going off to college, taking a new job, or moving to another city for any other reason, you already have plenty of stress to deal with. You don’t need the added pain of a long search for an apartment. To make your life easier, take a look at the services provided by ApartmentFinder.com.

At ApartmentFinder.com, you can simply type in the name of the city you want, and you’ll soon find yourself looking at the photographs of available apartment buildings. You’ll also find yourself looking at a map showing the location of each apartment. If higher education is in your future, the keyword “college” will find a selection of apartments near your future alma mater.

You can then refine your search by clicking on various specifics such as price and number of bedrooms. You can even find floor plans for the apartments you like. Do you need to take a swim every day? Use the keyword “pool,” and you’ll find the apartments that feature that amenity. You could just wander around town until you see a pool, but that’s not really an efficient use of your time if you want to earn a good grade-point average or impress your new boss.

So give yourself a break. Before you pack your bags, logon to ApartmentFinder.com and start looking for your new apartment.

Cubs Lose Five in a Row

It's difficult to understand how the Cubs could lose five games in a row to the Florida Marlins this season. The Marlins are the most worthless team in the National League. Only the Cubs could lose five in a row, including the two games in the present three-game series.

The only Major League team worse than the Marlins is Tampa Bay. No real baseball team could ever exist in Florida. Too many swamps. Florida is where you go for spring training. In tonight's loss to Florida, the only people in the ballpark were Cub fans.

It may make some fans feel better to know that Milwaukee lost today's game with St. Louis, but it doesn't make me feel better. Lou Pinella and the Cub players don't seem all that thrilled either.

Even if the Cubs make it into the playoffs, that's as far as they'll go if their five games with Florida give us any indication of the future.

Five Games Left

It isn't going to be easy. The Brewers aren't going to call in sick for the rest of the season, and all the other teams in the Central Division would love drop the Cubs off the end of Navy Pier.

The fans must understand this. Lou Pinella and the coaches already know it. And even the youngest players assumedly know it.

The question is, do I know it?

Order Flowers Online

If you’re like me, you always forget to buy flowers on special occasions such as Mother’s Day, birthdays, and other important events. For me, it’s helpful to know that I can go online, find the flower arrangement I want, and place my order quickly.

The Booth Flower Shop has revised its Web site to make it easier for slowpokes like me to order the flowers I forgot until the last minute. The site now includes sharp photos of flower arrangements, easy navigation, and fast checkout.

Chris Tsouratakis, owner of the shop, says it will now be easy to select flowers online “from anywhere in the world and have them shipped virtually anywhere.”

People who happen to live near the Booth Flower Shop can still drop in to order their flowers in person at 57-07 Main Street in Flushing, Borough of Queens, right next to the Booth Memorial Hospital. People who live in California will find it easier to order online. Even people who live in other boroughs of New York City may find it easier.

For people who live in the Jamaica neighborhood of Queens, New York, Mr. Tsouratakis also owns the Flowers by Christos flower shop at 8323 Parsons Road. In addition to serving the residents of Queens, this shop is also convenient for people in Brooklyn and elsewhere on Long Island.

Regardless of whether you order online or in person, both shops promise that your flowers will arrive as quickly as possible. On Mother’s Day, your mom might not even know that you forgot.

Minor-League Drug Abuse

Scott Taylor, a pitcher with the Class-A Daytona Cubs, has tested positive for drug abuse. Under the rules of the minor leagues, he will be suspended for 50 games at the beginning of the 2008 season.

For the 2007 season, the right-hander acquired a record of 4-11 with an ERA of 5.74.

The Daytona Cubs are part of the Florida State League.

Twenty-six players were suspended this year under minor-league rules for drug abuse.

Six Games To Go

With six games left in the regular season, the Cubs take on the Florida Marlins tonight in Miami. Ted Lilly will be on the mound for the Cubs as they play the first event of a three-game series. Dontrelle Willis will pitch for the Marlins.

Lilly has a record of 15-7 with an ERA of 3.78. Willis's win-lose stats are 9-15 with an ERA of 5.32, but don't let those numbers fool you. Any major-league pitcher can have a good game and make you wish you'd never left Waukegan.

At this point, we have no reason for overconfidence and no reason to assume anything. The Brewers are not about to lie down and go to sleep for six days.

Orlando Vacation Homes

The whole family can enjoy a vacation in Orlando at any time of the year. Orlando has 52 theme parks, the most famous of which is Walt Disney World. But you can also find ocean beaches only 40 minutes away. If you don’t feel like getting wet at the time, you can find a great golf course just as close as the beaches.

Because vacation attractions have to compete for visitors, there’s always something new in Orlando. Even if you spent your vacation in Orlando a few years ago, don’t be afraid to go back. You’ll find many new ways to entertain both children and adults.

If you want to have a really good vacation, you’ll need to find good accommodations. Orlando has a host of resorts and hotels where you can unwind after a day of exploring. Before you leave home, take a look at the Vacation homes in Orlando. Orlando Vacation.com can help you find just the right place for you and the family.

Welcome to Orlando. Have a great vacation.

Six Games To Go

The Atlanta Braves helped the Cubs Sunday by beating the Milwaukee Brewers 7-4. The fans at Wrigley Field became quite audible after every score posted for the Atlanta-Milwaukee game, which coincided with the Chicago-Pittsburgh game.

The Cubs had the day off Monday. The St. Louis Cardinals found themselves unable to duplicate Atlanta's heroics as the Cardinals lost to the Brewers 13-5.

This only proves again that you can't make it into the playoffs by hoping the Brewers will lose.

The Cubs have six games to go in the regular season. The fun starts Tuesday night at Miami.

Last Game at Wrigley Field

The Chicago Cubs demolished the Pittsburgh Pirates 8-0 Sunday. Fiery Carlos Zambrano won his 17th game, although he left after six innings because of cramps in his right forearm.

Kerry Wood then pitched two innings. His fastball seems to improve with every game. He allowed no hits and one base on balls. He struck out three. The crowd began chanting his name as soon as he started to pitch. He did not disappoint that crowd.

Derrek Lee and Ronny Cedeno provided much of the offensive support, each driving in three runs with a homer.

This was the last game at Wrigley Field for the regular season. The fans didn't really want to leave. They just stood there and savored the victory. Then Ryan Theriot and his little boy walked around the outfield.

It was a nice day for a game at Wrigley Field.

Sell Candy

If you would like to increase your income without having to take a second job, there’s a product that’s easy to sell, and you won’t have to open a store at 7:00 AM to sell it. Selling this product will allow you to work from home and set your own hours. Consider the candy products available through multivend.

Multivend, LLC, is one of the most successful makers of candy-vending machines in the United States. The company makes the Vendstar 3000 vending machine, which is easy to install and easy to operate. The machine’s new Vendstar EZ-Count® Meter allows the vendor to quickly obtain the latest sales figures.

Multivend, LLC, was founded in 1990 and now has almost 9000 vendors in countries throughout the world. People who own and operate Multivend vending machines can work from home and set their own hours. Plenty of opportunities are available for new routes and new vending locations. The business operates on a simple cash basis, and vendors can expect profit margins as high as 80 percent.

Vendstar 3000 vending machines may provide just the right business opportunity for anyone who desires more income but not a second job.

George Clooney in Trouble

Rich and famous actor George Clooney finds that his motorcycle has got him into a pile of chopper trouble. George crashed in New Jersey, but his injuries weren't serious.

The thing that is serious is that George may have to face charges of reckless driving. The driver of a car involved in the crash says that George tried to pass her on the right.

Sarah Larson, Clooney's girlfriend, was on the bike with George. She broke two toes in the crash, but no one is saying that she may face charges of reckless driving. She wasn't driving.

Foxy Brown Not PG

In case you were worried about the fact that Foxy Brown would have to deliver a baby during her year in the slammer, stop worrying. This fact is not a fact. Foxy isn't pregnant. But it is a fact that she has to go to jail.

Brown's lawyers said in court that Foxy was three-months pregnant, but Chaz Williams, Brown's manager, now says she isn't pregnant at all. The happy event will be a nonevent. Don't worry.

Foxy is going to jail because she violated the terms of probation stemming from her attack on two employees of a nail salon in 2004.

Home Medical Equipment

If you require the use of medical equipment for someone in your home, you could spend a great deal of time finding and visiting stores in your locale. Or you could go online and find an easier way to obtain the products you need. By looking for medical equipment providers online, you can compare both cost and availability for the equipment you need.

Allegro Medical is one of the firms that offers medical equipment online. It was founded in 1996 as a new supplier of medical supplies and equipment. In 1998, the company began offering these products online at AllegroMedical.com. Today, Allegro Medical is one of the largest online providers of home medical equipment, with more than one million customers.

AllegroMedical.com provides over 55,000 products in 50 different categories. These include such items as baby products, diabetes test strips, carpal tunnel computer gloves, blood pressure monitors, shower chairs, polar heart monitors, and a great deal more. AllegroMedical.com also offers products for health and fitness. These include items such as nutritional dietary supplements, exercise and fitness equipment, and outdoor gear.

AllegroMedical.com offers a diverse range of home medical supplies and equipment. For a closer look at all the products available, this firm makes its Allegro eCatalog available at no charge for anyone who wishes to sign up for it. Take a look. You may find exactly the home medical equipment you need.

Cubs Demolish Pirates

Two home runs by Alfonso Soriano and one each by Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee powered the Cubs offense in a 9-5 win over the Pittsburgh Pirates Saturday at Wrigley Field.

Sam Fuld provided the defensive play of the game, if not the whole season. In the seventh inning, Fuld leaped high against the ivy in right field to catch Nyjer Morgan's fly ball. He then bounced off the wall, turned, and threw to Derrek Lee at first base, doubling up Pittsburgh runner Nate McLouth.

It was a great day to watch a ballgame at Wrigley Field.

A Gift from Atlanta

A homer by Scott Thorman in the bottom of the 10th inning kept the Atlanta Braves in the game against the Milwaukee Brewers Saturday. And an RBI single by Mark Teixeira in the bottom of the 11th gave the Braves a 4-3 win over the Brewers at Turner Field.

Milwaukee's loss dropped the Brewers to 79-75, leaving them 2.5 games behind the division-leading Chicago Cubs. With seven games to go and a record of 82-73, the Cubs may very well finish the season above .500.

Orlando Hotels

Everyone enjoys a vacation in Orlando, Florida. In Orlando you can find six popular theme parks such as Sea World, Universal Studios, and Walt Disney World. But there's even more than that: up-scale shopping, grand hotels, cultural attractions, and a great deal more to see and do.

We all know the many attractions in Orlando, but all these aren't much fun if you don't have the accommodations you need. And what should you do if you're planning an occasion for a large group? That's where Orlando.com can help. Orlando.com offers the lowest prices for group hotel bookings.

In addition to the best hotels at the best prices, Orlando.com can also get you the best deals in flights and car rentals. And you'll like the firm's travel guide, which tells you all you need to know about entertainment, nightlife, and great restaurants in the Orlando area.

For the best event at the best prices, logon to Orlando.com.

Britney Hits and Runs!

Britney Spears has been charged with hit-and-run driving after a fender bender in a Los Angeles parking lot on August 6. Britney allegedly hit a parked car but failed to report the accident or wait around to talk to the car's owner.

If found guilty of hit-and-run driving, Britney could be sentenced up to six months in jail and fined $1000. The whole issue will be aired at a hearing on October 10.

Britney Again!

Rich and famous boneheads continue to populate the daily news. Britney Spears is allegedly using altogether too many controlled substances for her own welfare.

Judge Scott Gordan ordered Britney to submit to random drugs tests if she wants to keep joint custody of her children, custody that she now shares with her former hubby.

Britney's lawyers have allegedly advised her to enter rehab for the fourth time this year. The staff at New Moon doesn't know if this would impress Judge Gordon.