Guarded Optimism for Cubs

After the Cubs 10-1 victory over the Mets last night, we've adopted a policy of guarded optimism. Zambrano looked good over the course of eight innings, giving up only one run, allowing six hits, and striking out three.

Zambrano did all this while changing his delivery. He had been delivering in a way that allowed opposing batters to see his grip on the ball, thereby knowing what the pitch would be. Knowing the pitch in advance allows a hitter to quickly raise his batting average, and most pitching coaches deplore the practise of early revelation.

Aramis Ramirez led the offensive frenzy for the Cubs, hitting a grand slam home run in the sixth inning.

As a result of these heroics, we are now guardedly optimistic about the Cubs, which means we think the North Side boys will not finish last in the Central Division.

We wouldn't want to say more than that. If we did say more than that, the Cubs would be sure to finish last in their division. We dare not mess with this superstition.

The Cubs on a Cold Day

The Cubs started well against the Phillies on Friday night, but my car started well last winter until the temperature dropped to 20 below.

Rich Hill had the Phils under control for the first three innings. Then Pat Burrell stepped to the plate, and Hill’s 1.73 ERA headed skyward with baseball. By the end of the game, that ERA had reached 2.51, regardless of the temperature at Citizens Bank Park.

With a ballpark named after a bank, the citizens of Philadelphia may want to check their account balances. Base runners like to steal.

The Phillies can’t assume Burrell will hit two homeruns every game, although he may come close when facing the Cubs. This reminds me of my favorite baseball superstition. When discussing the Chicago Cubs, never say or write anything optimistic.

The Cubbies meet the Phils again Saturday night. I can’t remember the name of the park.

Superstition in the Dugout

Why do carp like worms? Why did it take four hours and thirty-nine minutes for the Cubs to lose to the Pirates? Why are baseball players, managers, and fans so superstitious?

I can’t pretend to make sure answers about any of these questions, but it’s now safe to talk about the real issue. The Cubs had a five-game winning streak going into its May 11 game with Pittsburg. By the end of the game, the Cubs had a no-game winning streak.

Why does no one talk about a winning streak until it’s over? Because it brings bad luck to talk about it. That’s why.

Consider a more dramatic example from baseball’s barrel of superstitions. The Cub pitcher is throwing a no-hitter against the drunken Brewers.

By the end of the fifth inning, everyone in the park who’s still alive knows what’s going on. What do the guys in the dugout discuss between innings? Baseball statistics? The standard 103-mile-per-hour fastball the pitcher is throwing?

Not a chance. They may talk about the price of corn, the trouble an incumbent president has caused, or the fact that their respective wives have left them.

But they don’t say a word about the no-hitter the stranger on the mound is throwing. They don’t say a thing about him or to him. Why not? Because that would jinx the whole thing. That’s why not.

Only an idiot fresh off the boat from Ellis Island would make such a blunder.

And they don’t make idiots like that anymore.